Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Jobs in Bush Administration

The new set of criteria that our President has developed for hiring key people, has changed the executive search business forever. Wonder if the President ran today's business organizations, what kind of qualifications would he insist for executive positions. Here are some openings with the qualifications I think Mr President might seek.

Senior Stock Analyst
Seeking candidates with a college degree or equivalent. Should be friendly with golf handicap. Tricky numbers an advantage but not required to do a ‘heck of a job’ in this demanding position.

Chairman for a multinational corporation
Applicant who holds a valid passport has a great chance. Previous foreign travel a plus. A League grad preferred. Grades are unimportant. A detailed record of all college roommates a must. Residence in gated community works as an added advantage. We are an equal opportunity employer.

Economist
This is your chance to play with big important guys. You are comfortable with very very large numbers. You are not afraid to swallow your professional integrity and join the new breed of 'political economists'. Accuracy not important. Careful follow up not an issue for this high level position.

Vice President for an Oil Refinery
Small but upcoming refinery with a annual profit of $6 billion seeks an aggressive, self starting motivated individual. Prefer someone over 6 foot tall, and over 250 lbs in weight, to make a strong impression amongst fellow oil execs. Gender no problems, track record not necessary.

Orchestra Player
Must work well with peers and not be shy of facing large crowd. Knowledge of classical music useful. Must be able to raise funds to make up for government budget cuts.

US Delegate for a major international organization
Potential delegate must be aggressive and highly irritable with a short temper, since this job involves other countries to have their opinions. Successful candidate must be suspicious of entire organization and its reason for existence.

Disease Control Manager
Selected candidate must be informal at emergency room setting. Individual should be comfortable enough to be called by nicknames example Dr. Brown be called Brownie or Dr.Chumwell be called Chummy or Chumster. A MD or other advanced degree useful.

Justice for Supreme Court
Government seeks a person whose judicial philosophy is unknown, whose paper trail is nil and who has no previous experience as a judge – oops, you’ve probably read about this opening before.

Are you qualified for any of the above high paying jobs? :P
Posted by Dewdrop :: 12:35 PM :: 32 Scribbles!

Scribble your mind!

---------------------------------------